Something to cheer you up

as we grieve our losses.

Some definitions, proving once again that puns are the lowest form of humor.

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much
weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having
a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while
drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which
you absentmindedly answer the door in your
nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks
you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor
assumed by a proctologist immediately before he
examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his
conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you
die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck
there.

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of
boxer shorts.



I'm gonna become a frisbeetarian to take on all those right wing assholes.