River of Beer
I hope your celebrations were festive and rewarding and that the New Year brings joy and contentment.
All this ecologically preserved paradise, and for only $50 a night! I was persuaded by the rhapsodic lyricism of the brochure and, of course, by the fact that the soon to be spousal unit, had put his foot down on Caneel Bay.A NEW CONCEPT IN VACATIONING:Maho Bay is dedicated to the belief that it is possible to live in comfort and harmony with a fragile environment without spoiling it. The resort is a community of tent-cottages located in a private preserve within the boundaries of the U.S. Virgin Islands National Park. Here one may study the delicate ecology of one of the most beautiful islands in the Caribbean . Like a Japanese Garden, Maho is a careful grooming, not an alteration, of nature. No bulldozed roads scar the land. All materials were carried in by hand in order to preserve the ground cover. In such surroundings, solitude and privacy are balanced with a relaxed sense of community....
...The dwellings measure 16' x 16' and are set on plank decks that cantilever over thickly-wooded hillsides. Most units offer a spectacular panorama of sea, sky, crescents of white sand and peaceful islands. There is...an open porch for private sunbathing.
CT Chest With Contrast
restage lung cancer
CTB C1 Chest CT
Region of interest: Chest
Type of scan: Single phase spiral
Superior Extent: Base of Neck
Inferior Extent: Through Adrenal glands
Automated exposure control and statistical iterative reconstruction techniques substantially lowered patient radiation dose.
Decrease 1.7 cm left lower lobe nodule, previously 2 cm, image 99:
Stable 8 mm ill-defined ground-glass opacity in the left lower lobe,
image 66: Series 3.
Stable 5 mm nodule at the left lung base on image 92: Series 3.
No new pulmonary nodules are present.
Stable aortopulmonary window nodal mass measuring 2 cm. No axillary or hilar adenopathy is present.
Mild coronary artery calcifications are present. Heart size is normal.
Partially visualized portion of the abdomen is normal.
Right-sided port catheter terminates in the lower SVC.
No suspicious lytic or blastic osseous lesions are present.
1. Decreased 1.7 cm left lower lobe nodule, previously 2 cm. Remaining pulmonary nodules are stable. No new nodules are present.
2. Stable aortopulmonary window nodal mass measuring 2 cm, decreased since 09/16/2009.
Yours is the most altruistic of the many letters Miss Manners receives from people who want to have some control over the selection of present they expect. Others ask 'How can I let them know I want money instead of some crummy toaster?' or "Instead of each giving us silver we won't use, why can't our friends get together and pay our mortgage?" Then there are the people who either sympathize with their friends' problems of buying present or profound distrust their taste, and want to say, "No gifts please" on their invitations.
What Miss Manners must tell all of you, regardless of your motives, is that there is no tasteful way--not even any moderately decent way--of directing present-giving, when you are on the receiving end.
Contrary to general belief, present-giving is never required. It is traditionally associated with birthdays, Christmas and weddings, but cannot be used as an entrance fee to related festivities. You must pretend that you invite people because you want to celebrate important occasions with them and you must seem pleasantly surprised when they give you something. To act as if it is such standard payment that you can acknowledge your expectations is rude-rude-rude.
Perhaps what has confused you is the business gimmick of the bridal registry, by which engaged couples inform stores of their tastes in the hope that their friends will come in, get this information and act on it.
There is just enough distance between the giver and the receiver to make this a passable practice. The bride and bridegroom do not actually instruct their friends--they only tell their preference to a neutral business establishment. And the present-givers only receive information if they ask for it.
Another practice that has confused you is that of bereaved families who ask that "contributions" be made to a charity instead of flowers being sent to them or the funeral. This is also a borderline case, most practical when there are huge numbers of mourners and it is known that there will be more than enough flowers (Notice to florists: Miss Manners adores flowers, and believe that they are an important symbolic part of a funeral, but too many of them, sent to the bereaved family's house, can be oppressive.
However, we were talking about weddings, not funerals, and the charitable donation idea is appropriate to the latter, not the former. Your wedding guests should not have to "memorialize" you with a charitable contribution in your name. If they want to remember you charitably, they can invite you to dinner.
So the answer is no. Miss Manners knows you mean well but you must take what people decide to give you looking grateful that they went to the trouble to get you anything at all. And then you can exchange it.