Law School Humor circa 1975

I've been going through files out in the garage recently.  I've saved a bunch of paper from high school on forward and although I should be doing something more in the realm of throwing it away, I've been fascinated by some of what has popped up. 

The following petition was posted on the door to the library in law school in 1975, my second year.  I tore it down in a fury and drafted a response, although I never put it up.  But it was interesting to come across this piece of crap recently, because at the time, it was a real reflection of a rather large proportion of  males' thinking in law school.  The names signed, of course are not valid--they're either made up or someone signed someone else's name.  In particular it was quite cruel to put Laura Haller's name down.  She was a woman in my class who was an outspoken women's lib advocate and I am sure the resentment against her ran fierce and deep.  You can click on the petition below to enlarge it.

Ralph Hork, it should be noted was a fictitious person who first ran for student office at Macalester College when I was there.  In addition to nutty campaign slogans, Ralph put ads in the Macalester student newspaper looking for brown shoes to wear with his black suit at his inauguration.  When I arrived at the University of Kentucky law school in 1973, surprisingly, I was not the only Macalester graduate in my class.  So was Henry of Henry and Brenda fame.  Henry and Brenda were a couple at Macalester that seemed to be joined at the waist.  They travelled everywhere around campus together.  When Brenda went to get seconds at meals at the student cafeteria, Henry accompanied her.  This was most unusual at sophisticated, hip, liberated Macalester, and occasioned sufficient comment that I knew exactly who Henry was when I met him at Kentucky though I had never been introduced to him.  Despite his chivalrous reputation and mild demeanor, I discovered that Henry had a wicked sense of humor. 

Henry and I, in our first semester at UK law, ran Ralph Hork as a write in candidate for the position of 3d year representative to the student bar association.  Ralph's platform was "Shoes" and one of his slogans was "Applehood and mother pie."  His posters were paid for by the 'Bring Honest Government Back to Politics Committee, Donald Segretti, Chairman' and the 'Reasonable Man in like Circumstances Committee to Elect Ralph Hork, Glenn Miller Chairman.'  And Ralph actually won the race!  So whoever put the sexist petition above together obviously thought they were clever by putting Ralph's name in as chairman.  How little they knew of true subversive humor.

In the spring of our first year of law school, we were supposed to join a legal fraternity.  Two of the three legal fraternities threw rush parties that spring.  And at least one of them, either Phi Delta Phi or Delta Theta Phi, featured strippers at their party as a means of attracting new members. 

In reaction, Henry and I, together with several other law school classmates (Larry and Mark), formed our own legal fraternity.  We called it Rho Epsilon Hork, sibling society and motorcycle gang.  Our rules were simple but effective.  All members were given the title of President, because that looked good on one's resume.  Upon graduation, members were promoted to the status of immortal because where else could you go after you'd been president. And for the secret ceremonies that we were sure a sibling society and motorcycle gang needed to have, we used Chief Justice Burger, purchased from Olley's Trolley, a burger joint up the street, as our sacramental food of choice.

Eventually by the end of second year, we were forced to realize that we had to join a real law fraternity if we wanted to pad our resumes, so we joined the third fraternity which was much quieter--Phi Alpha Delta.  There we sort of took over the place, and in the fall of third year, discovered that any fraternity on campus could nominate someone to compete as the Homecoming Queen.  So we nominated second year law student, Daryl Driver.  We thought he would be a perfect Homecoming Queen because his resume was so well done, it had gotten him into law school.  Unfortunately, the Panhellenic Council did not see it our way and he was tossed out of the competition after the first round.  Event though our hopes were dashed,  we thought we had made a statement of sorts about Homecoming and queens and what mattered in life. 

These days, as Seattle celebrates gay pride with another record breaking parade, as Washington boasts of two women US Senators and a governor, and as the voters of the state of Washington voted last fall to uphold the law permitting gays to enter into civil relationships, it is clear that at least in parts of this country, attitudes have changed markedly since 1975. 

Another Kentucky story

Back in 1978, another KY Assistant Attorney General, Sarah W, and I were detailed to a county in Central/Eastern Ky to clean up the docket. The Prosecuting Attorney had been killed in a car accident over the July 4 weekend and things had backed up and the Circuit Judge, Billy Lewis, was riding through. We did mostly misdemeanors in the gymnasium of the local school as the court house was under construction. The cases were tried one after another, and we had a number of spectators watching, sitting on folding chairs and fanning themselves against the heat. No air conditioning, no fans, no jury box, no dais for the judge to sit on, just metal desks and folding chairs for us as well. Sarah was a vegetarian but the only restaurants in the town (there were 3) were deep fry this and deep fry that, so she also suffered from diet restrictions.

In the morning of the second day of trial week, Sarah had a case (with me sitting second chair) that involved a charge of selling a small quantity of marijuana. The complaining witness testified that he met the D on a bridge in the community and purchase a nickel bag of dope from the D. The D, who was representing himself cross examined the complaining witness thusly:

D: Isn't it true that you 'n me have had bad blood b'tween us?

W: W'al ah don't rightly know 'bout that

D: Isn't it true that you tried to set mah porch on fahr?

W: Ah don't recall that.

D: What time o' day did you an' me meet?

W: Ah dunno.

D: "N whut color of'car wuz ah driving when ah sold you that marijuana?

W: IAh don' rahtly r'member

D: How much did that nickel bag cost you?

W: A nickel.

So, the jury came back quickly with a 'not guilty' verdict. Sitting in the audience was a guy named Odell who came up two or three trials later. Odell was charged with assaulting his mother. She testified that lately she'd been taking to see another man, since Odell's daddy was out of the picture and that this man had been so good to her--took her all the way to Fort Wayne--which was the furthest she'd ever been from home. Well, Odell didn't like this and one day he drove to her house, jumped up the steps and burst into her house, grabbed her by the arm so hard it left bruises and said that there would be no one takin' the place of his daddy. She had to call the police to get him out of her house.

Odell was representing himself too, and here were his first questions after I had finished my direct of his Momma:

D: Momma whut time o' day wuz it when ah drove to yer house?

W: [I don't recall what she said]

D: And Momma, what color o car wuz ah drivin when ah drove to your house?

W: !

At this point the members of the jury were laughing, and the judge motions me up and tells me that he thinks I should amendthe assault to driving without a license, as he knew that Odell did not have a driver's license. So, I do as he suggests, amend the charge and the judge directs the jury that they have to find Odell guilty of that. They jury is not happy--I think I heard a few groans but they troop off to the jury room and are back quick as a minute with the guilty verdict--and a $2 fine!

Judge Lewis later writes a letter of recommendation for the job Sarah and I did that week. I think it's still in my KY box of memorabilia. But I heard that the Judge was later taken off the bench for some sort of offense. Seemed to have to do with money, but it's been now, 20 years ago.