Vocal Cord Implantation Surgery

The surgery went as scheduled Monday at Group Health in Bellevue. My daughter was a real trooper, picking me up at 5:30am so we could be there by 6am. I was prepped by 8am and the doctor, kindly did the pre-op physical, as there had not been enough time to schedule it before. The anesthetic knocked me out, and it made not only the events post surgery fuzzy, everything that occurred prior to surgery now seems surreal as well.

Out of surgery, I just remember that there was a lot of pain in my throat. The nurse gave me a vicodin which helped reduce the pain by about 80%. They discharged me at 11:30 and my daughter brought me home, got me set up in bed and I slept for 4 hours straight, getting up only to take my Tarceva and a second dose of pain reliever. The voice, however, was not much improved. Probably due to the trauma of the surgery--they had to intubate me for breathing purposes, in addition to putting a scope down my throat to see what they were doing, and inserting the large metal syringe which contained the injection material. All of those had to fit down my throat. Good thing I have a big mouth, eh? And also a good thing that I have all my teeth. Sometimes implants can get cracked off during this procedure.

My friend, A, brought by some Pho soup, which was my first food of the day and truly delicious. I am to eat soft things for the next few days to coddle my throat as well. And this morning there does seem to be a bit of improvement, although it's not much. So I am waiting to see if my voice comes back.

While waiting, I thought I would share with you these bumper stickers that a friend from work sent me to cheer me up. They did. And I hope they will for you as well.



If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Telepath wanted: you know where to apply

Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

Watch out for the idiot behind me

I'm driving this way just to piss you off

Lord save me from your followers.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

I intend to live forever - so far, so good

Dont piss me off- I am running out of places to hide the bodies

Which is the odd one out- Texas, Alabama, Arkanas, Tolerance?

Ban toilet cleaner- Germs have feelings too

Be nice to your children- they choose your nursing home

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a keg ... coincidence?

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

I tried sniffing Coke once. The ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Reality is for people with no imagination

Rehab Is for Quitters

I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun.

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was
God,and I didn't.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Despite the cost of living, it's still popular.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Clones are people two.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Incontinence Hotline...Can you hold, please?

Honk If You Want To See My Finger!

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Don't drink and drive, you might hit a speed bump and spill your drink.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.

Friends help you move house. Real friends help you move bodies.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

All generalizations are false.

I brake for fairys, elves, gnomes, the toothfairy, the easter bunny,santa and other little creatures that only I can see

Men are not pigs. Pigs are sweet, intelligent, sensitive, clean animals.

Where there's a will, I wanna be in it.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

Dont laugh. Your daughter could be in here.

Never let school get in the way of your EDUCATION.

Hard work never hurt anybody, but then I figured why take the risk.

I'd give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter

What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? S&M&M

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

At night, monkeys steal my underwear

I got a dog for my husband. It was a fair trade.

Obsession is the word lazy people give to those of us who are motivated.

I'm talking to myself- please dont eavesdrop!

God must love stupid people- she made so many.

If you can read this I'm not going fast enough.