Monday, October 05, 2009

Divertimento

Well it's the night before the PET scan. Just like the night before the Bar exam, except this time I want to get a low score, not a high score. Reminds me of the Phyllis Schlafly cheer squad from the Doo Dah parade, which was an alternative to the Rose Bowl parade. Anyway, the cheer these cheerleaders would yell at the top of their lungs was, "Sixty nine cents is toooo much!" Sixty nine cents then being the average wage that women made compared to men.

And my co-program advisor forwarded this to me today as well. I thought it broke up the seriousness for a bit. Which I find I need because lately I've been crying a bit--more than I have since my divorce ten years ago. So here goes:

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN WASHINGTON STATE WHEN:

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Washington.

If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Washington. If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Washington

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Washington .

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Washington.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Washington

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Washington

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or EasternWashington.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Washington.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Washington.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Washington

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Washington.

If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Washington.

If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Washington.

If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal, you live in Washington .

If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Washington.

If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Dutch Bros, you live in Washington.

If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Washington.

If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Abiqua, Issaquah, Oregon, Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, you live in Washington.

If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Washington.

If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Washington.

If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Washington.

If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Washington.

If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Washington.

If you buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Washington.

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Washington friends, you live or have lived in Washington.

Think No. 3!!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll see your Sequim and Puyallup and raise you an Oconomowoc and Chequamegon. Keep laughing and good luck today. - Sue from WI

Katherine said...

While I don't know many (any?) of your faithful listeners, I feel utterly qualified to speak for all of them when I say we are all praying/hoping/crossing fingers/for the best outcome possible from today's test.

The Washington State jokes sound sort of Minnesota-ish, except that in Minnesota we could add, "If your current governor is running for president even though he was defeated in earlier elections by a professional wrestler named Jessie Venture and an SNL writer/star named Al Franken, then you live in Minnesota." As for my current residence, the only one I can think of is "If you disdain public transit and have scrapped your perfectly good vehicle for a brand new Prius, you live in Chevy Chase."

Enough about me. As for you, much much love, etc., Katy Kelley

Mary M said...

Been thinking of you and praying for good results all day long - Thanks for sharing the humor - Hope you get some rest tonight.

Mary Mara